Sleep

Sleep.  It is the obsession of every new parent.  How to get your baby to fall asleep, stay asleep, to sleep longer, and how to get some for yourself too.

Asleep on the big red chair in the living rm

Before I became a parent I hardly ever thought about sleep.  I slept when I was tired.  I knew that I wasn't the best sleeper ever.  I need dark and quiet and something comfy to lie on.  Sometimes I was tired from staying up late or doing too much but.... I had no idea.

When Evan came along we spent months and months being very sleep deprived. I was miserable, frustrated and did I mention miserable? Looking back I realize that I was too tired to be as thoughtful as I would have liked or enjoy the process of parenting very much.  I was just trying to survive.

Eventually we got to the end of our ropes and desperate for sleep we did some sleep training and we all slept a little better.  At the time I was traumatized.  How could I let my baby cry?  I must be the worst parent ever (especially here in co-sleeping heaven Ithaca).   Is sleep really that important?  Yes, in my book it is!

Alec is a completely different baby. I'm sure some of it has to do with us being more experienced but I have to give the little guy some credit.  He started sleeping long stretches on his own and they just kept getting longer.  Last week he slept 10 hours or more three nights in a row.  Having a taste of what being a rested parent of an infant feels like was heaven! (He's gone back to getting up about twice...still  not bad!)

Alec sleeping at Viva Taqueria

Rested me really enjoys taking care of Alec and can handle a minor crisis.  (Like today when Evan, Alec and I went to Mama Goose and just as Evan announces that he had an accident Alec spits up on me.  Rested me didn't cry or yell, I just calmly took them both to the restroom and we got on with our day.)  Rested me threw an ice cream party.   Rested me took care of both boys by myself for 24 hours while Russ went to Rochester for a helicopter thing and I wasn't begging for death by the end. 

All this to say...sleep can make all the difference in the world.  Get it any way you can.

Strange Fears

Evan has this unexplainable (at least to my memory) fear of balloons and all things inflatable. So, it was a bit sad when his Uncle Andrew and Aunt Annika sent him this totally cool Toy Story bouncy/ride-on ball. He would cry hysterically if I even brought down the box. So, it sat on the shelf out of site for months.

Until recently.... I managed to covertly get this thing into the car, along with both boys, drive to a gas station and inflate it without Evan noticing.

When introduced to the ball already fully inflated and looking rather stable (his biggest fear is that it will spring a leak and fly around the room) he acted indifferent about it, but at least not scared. After a week or so and after a few friends came over and thought it was fun, he has come around.

Thanks Annika and Andrew! It's a hit, finally. :)

Co-Parenting

I have a friend who blogs about being a step-parent. She often talks about co-parenting her stepchild. She co-parents this kid with the kid's dad and the kid's biological Mom and her husband. It's a term I hadn't heard or used but it got me thinking.

Russ and I co-parent Evan and Alec too, sort of. I have to say I feel so lucky that our employment situations allow for us to CO-parent in ways that many families cannot. There are times that I wish I was at home full-time, but the fact that I work (a whole 185 days a year) allows for Russ to be around a lot too. Well, and his schedule doesn't hurt the situation either.



If we are lucky enough to still have our jobs for the next many years I really like to think about how the boys will get to spend so much time with their Dad. Hopefully, they will pick up his love for knowledge, his wit and sensitivity and thoughtfulness. If they get his cooking and housekeeping skills too, that would be fine.

Decisions, Decisions

IMG_0475
Originally uploaded by Russ Posegate

Alec has been really fun lately. He's smiling and babbling and almost giggling. It makes all the sleep deprivation and diaper changing so worth it. It makes me really want to enjoy every minute of these next 5 months or so before I will, most likely, return to work.

Evan has been fun too. He tells incredibly long, detailed stories or recounts his dreams in vivid detail. Sometimes it takes all of my concentration to focus, listen and comprehend. It's not that complicated, I'm just that tired.

So, today we made the decision for Evan to go to the public school pre-K program. (Deep breath) I'm terrible at making decisions. Somehow a good part of me thinks there is always more research to be done, that there is one perfect situation if I look long enough or that there is one right answer.

Luckily, as I'm getting older, I realize this isn't true and I'm able to suppress these ideas long enough to make a "good" decision- not "right", not "perfect" just "good". A big part of being better, although only slightly, at decision making is the fact that I'm also getting better at making the best of things. Finding a way to look on the bright side is a skill that is very handy in the life of a parent. (Ok, so my kid just spit up on me. Well, that must mean he won't need to burp and may be less cranky now. Yay!)

Parenting decisions are some of my hardest. This isn't just about me. I really want was is best for the boys, so I debate even longer and agonize even more when it's something for them. Slowly I'm learning to find the right fit for us instead of just what is "right". This takes knowing who we are as a family, who I am as a parent and being ok with that. A tall order indeed.